Be An Ally

WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:05.080 Hey, what's up world? Welcome to snack size, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:09.830 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, La La Luscious, 3 00:00:09.869 --> 00:00:13.669 also known as the snack of the twin cities. I decided for myself 4 00:00:13.789 --> 00:00:16.589 that I can be whatever I want to be. So I decided to be 5 00:00:16.789 --> 00:00:20.629 a drag queen, and if I can live my dreams, you can to. 6 00:00:21.070 --> 00:00:24.940 The time has come to believing yourself enough to turn your ideas into more 7 00:00:24.980 --> 00:00:27.980 than mere words, and, no matter what you are doing in life or 8 00:00:28.019 --> 00:00:31.500 where you want to go, I want to help you get there fabulously. 9 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:41.530 Our ten minutes starts now. Hey, snacks, we're here at episode ten 10 00:00:41.770 --> 00:00:45.850 and our final episode of season one of snack size. I do want to 11 00:00:45.890 --> 00:00:49.890 apologize for the delay. As you know, I live in Minneapolis and after 12 00:00:49.969 --> 00:00:53.920 the murder of George Floyd and surrounding events, life has not been normal in 13 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:57.799 Minneapolis, but I am really proud of the people in my city for standing 14 00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:02.640 up against inequality and racism in America. So thank you for your patients and 15 00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:06.469 for continuing on this journey with me. Today, I want to talk to 16 00:01:06.549 --> 00:01:08.750 my white listeners about how to be an ally to a person of color. 17 00:01:10.349 --> 00:01:14.189 If you are a person of color listening to this episode, this advice isn't 18 00:01:14.189 --> 00:01:17.590 going to shock you, but maybe it can be something you can share with 19 00:01:17.629 --> 00:01:21.379 your friends who are looking to be a better ally to you. It would 20 00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:25.140 be impossible for me to list all the ways you can be an active allied 21 00:01:25.260 --> 00:01:29.180 to a person of color and just a short ten minute podcast, so I've 22 00:01:29.219 --> 00:01:33.090 decided to select a few things I find to be important. I say this 23 00:01:33.329 --> 00:01:38.010 because I encourage you to continue to learn and grow as an ally outside of 24 00:01:38.090 --> 00:01:41.569 this podcast, and if you do want to talk more about it with me, 25 00:01:42.090 --> 00:01:46.290 please email me at Lala at snack size podcastcom and we can have a 26 00:01:46.409 --> 00:01:51.079 respectful and open discussion. I want to start by asking you a question. 27 00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:55.439 When it comes to racism and equality, is your heart in the right place? 28 00:01:55.959 --> 00:01:59.439 Do you truly want to be an allied to people of Color? Before 29 00:01:59.480 --> 00:02:02.629 you answer, please note this is a different question than are you racist? 30 00:02:04.109 --> 00:02:07.509 The difference is is that it is easy to simply not be racist, but 31 00:02:07.710 --> 00:02:14.150 allies are anti racist. That means they are actively taking a stand against injustice 32 00:02:14.229 --> 00:02:19.060 every single day. So if you are listening to a podcast about how to 33 00:02:19.139 --> 00:02:22.620 be an ally to people of Color, hosted by a black drag queen. 34 00:02:23.219 --> 00:02:27.500 I'd be willing to bet that you aren't racist, so I'm not going to 35 00:02:27.580 --> 00:02:30.689 tell you why it would be bad if you were, because I can guess 36 00:02:30.889 --> 00:02:34.409 that you weren't. So now it really is a matter of if you are 37 00:02:34.409 --> 00:02:38.330 anti racist. So that's why I'm asking. Is Your Heart in the right 38 00:02:38.490 --> 00:02:42.289 place and do you truly want to be an ally, because the road to 39 00:02:42.370 --> 00:02:46.960 ending racism and finding true equality is going to have all types of obstacles, 40 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:50.919 but if your heart is in the right place, it is unlikely that you 41 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:54.159 will find yourself on the wrong side of this struggle. Now, just because 42 00:02:54.159 --> 00:02:58.280 your heart is in the right place doesn't mean you don't have things to learn, 43 00:02:58.750 --> 00:03:01.870 ways to grow or responsibilities. Is a white ally in terms of lifting 44 00:03:01.909 --> 00:03:06.229 up people of Color. But what I can tell you is that if you 45 00:03:06.389 --> 00:03:09.270 know your heart is in the right place, you already have the strongest weapon 46 00:03:09.389 --> 00:03:14.460 for this fight, and that is love. While I want to teach you 47 00:03:14.500 --> 00:03:16.939 some things you should do to be an ally, if there is ever a 48 00:03:17.139 --> 00:03:22.659 situation where you don't know what to do, listen to your heart and it 49 00:03:22.819 --> 00:03:27.169 will guide you. It may guide you to a friend to talk to or 50 00:03:27.250 --> 00:03:30.250 maybe a book that will educate you, or even just that voice inside that 51 00:03:30.370 --> 00:03:36.969 says, Hey, this isn't right, I should say something. Knowing what 52 00:03:37.129 --> 00:03:40.370 is in your heart is the first step to becoming an ally. The next 53 00:03:40.370 --> 00:03:45.240 thing I want to discuss is white privilege, what it means and how it 54 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:50.879 works in our society today. First, let's define white privilege. White privilege 55 00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:54.990 is referred to as the societal privilege that benefits white people over non white people. 56 00:03:55.909 --> 00:04:00.469 One thing I hear from people who don't understand white privilege is they seem 57 00:04:00.550 --> 00:04:04.150 to think the concept implies that they haven't experienced challenges in life because they are 58 00:04:04.270 --> 00:04:10.099 white. That is not at all what white privilege is. Why privilege means 59 00:04:10.139 --> 00:04:13.340 that if you are white, the color of your skin won't be one of 60 00:04:13.379 --> 00:04:16.060 the things holding you back in this world. Now, if you are listening 61 00:04:16.100 --> 00:04:19.660 to this and you are a white person, it is highly possible you got 62 00:04:19.819 --> 00:04:24.769 really defensive. As I use the term white privilege, I want you to 63 00:04:24.930 --> 00:04:30.410 know that having white privilege and acknowledging it is not racist. Let me say 64 00:04:30.449 --> 00:04:35.569 that again. Having white privilege and recognizing it is not racist. However, 65 00:04:35.689 --> 00:04:40.199 once you recognize that you have white privilege, it is how you use it 66 00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:45.360 that determines whether or not you are racist. White privilege exists because of historic 67 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:49.959 racism, prejudice and inequality, but today white privilege, when recognized correctly, 68 00:04:50.319 --> 00:04:56.430 has the power to overturn systematic racism. On the other hand, it also 69 00:04:56.470 --> 00:05:00.389 has the power to uphold it. As well. As a white ally, 70 00:05:00.870 --> 00:05:03.910 you get to decide how you want to use your privilege. If you choose 71 00:05:03.910 --> 00:05:08.740 to use your white privilege as a weapon to fight racism, that you are 72 00:05:08.819 --> 00:05:13.139 doing the much needed work that must be done to change your quality and race 73 00:05:13.180 --> 00:05:17.779 issues in this world. Learn when to listen, when to amplify and when 74 00:05:17.860 --> 00:05:24.129 to speak up. When people of Color speak to their experiences of oppression, 75 00:05:24.529 --> 00:05:29.610 it's important for white people not to dominate the conversation or question those experiences, 76 00:05:30.449 --> 00:05:34.170 but you can use your privilege to amplify those voices. There are also times 77 00:05:34.209 --> 00:05:39.319 when white people who should speak up. If you hear racist remarks, speak 78 00:05:39.319 --> 00:05:43.600 up. If you see opportunities to educate people about race, do so. 79 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:47.160 As an ally, your privilege can be a tool to reach people who may 80 00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:51.550 be more likely to listen to you or relate to your journey and understanding your 81 00:05:51.589 --> 00:05:58.870 own relationship to race and white privilege. When confronted with race issues, especially 82 00:05:58.910 --> 00:06:02.629 an accusation of being races, I hear why people say two things. The 83 00:06:02.750 --> 00:06:08.500 first is I don't see color. The second is I have black friends. 84 00:06:09.060 --> 00:06:13.379 These statements, although they may support that someone does not have a biased against 85 00:06:13.379 --> 00:06:17.139 someone because of their race, are both in sensitive and ignorant statements. When 86 00:06:17.220 --> 00:06:20.850 someone says I don't see color, what they think they are saying is that 87 00:06:20.930 --> 00:06:25.810 they don't judge someone based on the color of their skin. However, what 88 00:06:25.970 --> 00:06:30.529 people of Color here is I am ignoring your race because it makes me more 89 00:06:30.649 --> 00:06:34.279 comfortable to do so. That is not a healthy viewpoint for you or any 90 00:06:34.319 --> 00:06:39.160 of the people of color in your life. For me, my blackness is 91 00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:42.399 a part of who I am, so it is not possible for someone to 92 00:06:42.519 --> 00:06:46.319 accept me and not see my color. If you want to be an ally 93 00:06:46.439 --> 00:06:49.629 to people of color, never ever use a phrase I don't see color again. 94 00:06:50.470 --> 00:06:55.269 And then there is the other statement, I have black friends. If 95 00:06:55.269 --> 00:06:59.629 you have black friends or friends of any color, that is awesome. However, 96 00:07:00.310 --> 00:07:03.660 having friends of color does not make you immune to ignorance or attitudes rooted 97 00:07:03.660 --> 00:07:06.819 in racism. It does not mean that you don't need to do the work 98 00:07:06.939 --> 00:07:11.939 to end racism and inequality and just rely on your friends of color to keep 99 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:15.889 you woe. In fact, if you want to be both a great friend 100 00:07:15.009 --> 00:07:18.329 and an ally, then you will be happy to fight for the equality of 101 00:07:18.410 --> 00:07:24.089 people you care about. Again, it's great that you have a diverse friend 102 00:07:24.170 --> 00:07:29.529 group, but when it comes to ending systematic racism, it doesn't mean you 103 00:07:29.649 --> 00:07:32.360 have been racist, nor does it mean that you have less work to do 104 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:36.800 as a white ally. Just like the first statement I mentioned, do not 105 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:42.959 use your friends as a reason for not being racist. My next advice for 106 00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:47.029 being an ally is to learn from your mistakes. Some people are intentionally racist, 107 00:07:47.389 --> 00:07:51.790 but some people do something or say something racist on accident. They didn't 108 00:07:51.790 --> 00:07:56.750 realize what they were doing was offensive because they hadn't been educated enough to know 109 00:07:56.829 --> 00:08:01.139 any better. Even if this is the case, it doesn't make the action 110 00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:05.019 any less wrong. Why? People sometimes feel that innocent intentions make them racist 111 00:08:05.220 --> 00:08:09.379 and they should not be held to the same accountability as those who are intentionally 112 00:08:09.420 --> 00:08:15.209 racist. It does not matter what your intentions were, it's all racism. 113 00:08:15.769 --> 00:08:18.810 So my question to you, if you are one of those people who just 114 00:08:18.930 --> 00:08:22.689 lacks education and understanding. What are you doing to fix that? Are you 115 00:08:22.930 --> 00:08:26.639 self motivated to learning how to do better by the people of Color in your 116 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:31.600 life? Mistakes happen and while you can and should apologize if you did or 117 00:08:31.679 --> 00:08:37.279 said something inadvertently racist, the test of if you are truly sorry is in 118 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:41.279 the work that is done after you realize what you did was wrong. I've 119 00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:43.509 learned that in any area of my life, not just the topic we are 120 00:08:43.590 --> 00:08:48.669 discussing now, that nothing can be built on good intentions and apologies. It's 121 00:08:48.750 --> 00:08:54.110 just never been a good foundation for change. However, great things can happen 122 00:08:54.110 --> 00:09:00.419 when we educate, communicate and hold each other accountable. We are human. 123 00:09:00.740 --> 00:09:05.179 Mistakes happen. In fact, if mistakes didn't happen, it means nothing is 124 00:09:05.259 --> 00:09:09.009 changing. I can't speak for all people of Color, but speaking for myself 125 00:09:09.049 --> 00:09:13.490 as a black man, I can say that I can forgive someone who does 126 00:09:13.570 --> 00:09:16.970 the word to educate themselves then someone who just says I'll do better next time. 127 00:09:18.690 --> 00:09:22.169 Learning from your mistakes is a crucial part of understanding and ending racism. 128 00:09:24.090 --> 00:09:28.240 To understand racism, you need to hear it from someone who is suffering from 129 00:09:28.279 --> 00:09:31.960 it. So believe me when I say that I appreciate that you listen to 130 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:35.120 this episode. What I have discussed here are just a few things you can 131 00:09:35.159 --> 00:09:39.789 do to be an allied to people of color. I encourage you to continue 132 00:09:39.870 --> 00:09:43.389 to educate yourself on racism and how to end it. To recap what we've 133 00:09:43.389 --> 00:09:48.389 covered here, the first is make sure your heart is in the right place, 134 00:09:48.190 --> 00:09:54.580 recognize your privilege, amplify voices of color, don't ignore someone's race and, 135 00:09:54.700 --> 00:09:58.899 last but not least, learn from your mistakes. No matter where you 136 00:10:00.019 --> 00:10:03.019 are in the world, the fight against racism and the struggle for equality are 137 00:10:03.059 --> 00:10:09.169 far from over, so believe me when I say that your words and actions 138 00:10:09.490 --> 00:10:13.529 matter. It is essential that we continually reflect on what we can do to 139 00:10:13.649 --> 00:10:18.009 address racial inequality. To end this episode, I'd like to leave you with 140 00:10:18.090 --> 00:10:24.000 a quote from Dr Martin Luther King Jr. He said human progress is neither 141 00:10:24.039 --> 00:10:30.000 automatic nor inevitable. Every step to the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering 142 00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:37.149 and struggle, the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. Until next 143 00:10:37.149 --> 00:10:41.710 time, see you later. Snack. Hey Snack, I hope you enjoyed 144 00:10:41.750 --> 00:10:45.029 this episode of snack size. I also want to let you know that this 145 00:10:45.309 --> 00:10:50.659 podcast is now on iheartradio. Download the iheartradio APP and follow snack size the 146 00:10:50.700 --> 00:10:56.100 podcast so you don't miss out on any of my content exclusive to iheartradio. 147 00:10:56.700 --> 00:11:03.139 Also check out my new website, www dot snack size podcastcom, where you 148 00:11:03.220 --> 00:11:07.529 can listen to all your favorite episodes and more. Until next time, go 149 00:11:07.809 --> 00:11:07.610 be fabulous.