If You Want Something You Never Had

WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:05.120 Hey, what's up world? Welcome to snack size, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:09.869 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, La La Lushous, 3 00:00:10.070 --> 00:00:13.710 also known as the snack of the twin cities. I decided for myself 4 00:00:13.830 --> 00:00:16.629 that I can be whatever I want to be. So I decided to be 5 00:00:16.789 --> 00:00:20.629 a drag queen, and if I can live my dreams, you can to. 6 00:00:21.070 --> 00:00:24.940 The time has come to believing yourself enough to turn your ideas into more 7 00:00:24.980 --> 00:00:27.980 than mere words, and, no matter what you are doing in life or 8 00:00:28.019 --> 00:00:31.500 where you want to go, I want to help you get there fabulously. 9 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:41.929 Our ten minutes starts now. Hey, snacks, welcome back to snacks eyes, 10 00:00:42.170 --> 00:00:45.689 and before we get started today, I just want to say thank you 11 00:00:45.929 --> 00:00:49.890 for being on this journey with me. It's been amazing hearing from you and 12 00:00:49.969 --> 00:00:54.439 getting to know all my snack friends all over the world. So if you 13 00:00:54.679 --> 00:00:58.439 are inspired by something on one of the episodes or just want to talk, 14 00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:03.590 you're always welcome to email me at Lala at snack size podcastcom. I mean 15 00:01:03.670 --> 00:01:07.349 it when I say I always afford to hearing from you. I want to 16 00:01:07.390 --> 00:01:11.829 talk about something I feel like I probably should have talked about before now. 17 00:01:11.870 --> 00:01:15.269 I was going to do a completely different topic, but then it occurred to 18 00:01:15.310 --> 00:01:21.459 me that I've been creating this podcast based on a big assumption. Most of 19 00:01:21.500 --> 00:01:26.019 these episode so's have catered to people who know what they're happy and fulfilled life 20 00:01:26.060 --> 00:01:29.500 is and just need a little encouragement to get where they want to go. 21 00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:34.409 Today I want to ask the question, what if you don't know what will 22 00:01:34.489 --> 00:01:37.849 make you happy or what you are passionate about? So, for those of 23 00:01:37.890 --> 00:01:42.530 you out there who don't know, this episode is for you, and for 24 00:01:42.689 --> 00:01:46.329 those of you who do know, or at least think they know, I'm 25 00:01:46.450 --> 00:01:49.599 going to share a few things I did in my life to help me find 26 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.920 what I love, and perhaps it'll help you to further realize that you are 27 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:59.120 on the right path. The phrase follow your dreams is really the centerpiece of 28 00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:04.709 anything inspirational. It's pretty much the phrase that drives the entire selfhelp world. 29 00:02:05.150 --> 00:02:08.110 We are told from a young age you can be whatever you want to be, 30 00:02:08.629 --> 00:02:12.909 and as kids we all have some idea of what we want to be 31 00:02:13.069 --> 00:02:15.300 when we grow up. I know my dream was to be a chef. 32 00:02:16.099 --> 00:02:21.379 Maybe yours was to be a doctor or a firefighter or a musician. At 33 00:02:21.500 --> 00:02:24.259 that age in your mind, there isn't anything stopping you from doing it. 34 00:02:24.979 --> 00:02:30.569 But then life happens. You mature and your dreams and goals may change. 35 00:02:30.129 --> 00:02:35.330 Plans don't go the way they were intended, you realize more things about life 36 00:02:35.370 --> 00:02:38.650 in the world, or you get distracted with other parts of your life, 37 00:02:38.969 --> 00:02:43.250 which may be important as well, but also not exactly what your dreamed of. 38 00:02:43.569 --> 00:02:46.479 I think it is at this point where many loose sight of their passions. 39 00:02:47.039 --> 00:02:50.879 So, if you can, I want you to go back to the 40 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:54.479 child in you that wanted something and didn't see any reason why they couldn't have 41 00:02:54.599 --> 00:02:59.750 it. If you can remember how that feels, then you already know what 42 00:02:59.870 --> 00:03:01.909 it's like to have a dream and you know what it's like for it to 43 00:03:01.990 --> 00:03:07.430 feel possible and, even though you have changed a lot since then, know 44 00:03:07.870 --> 00:03:10.469 that it is still possible to feel that way about your life again, and 45 00:03:12.030 --> 00:03:15.939 finding your passion will feel the same way for you today. My first lesson 46 00:03:16.180 --> 00:03:21.500 is a little unusual because it's not something you hear often when it comes to 47 00:03:21.539 --> 00:03:25.259 talking about finding your passion. If someone asks you what you want out of 48 00:03:25.300 --> 00:03:30.689 your life and your answer is I don't know, I want you to know 49 00:03:30.849 --> 00:03:37.370 something, that is okay. There's nothing wrong with not knowing. In fact, 50 00:03:37.650 --> 00:03:40.840 it's a part of finding yourself that everyone goes through. Anyone who knows 51 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:45.759 what they want out of life at some point didn't know. So except the 52 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:49.960 fact that you don't know yet, and don't feel bad or rush into anything 53 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.159 just because you feel a need to have a passion. That is not how 54 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:59.310 this works. It's really the next part that counts. So if someone says 55 00:03:59.349 --> 00:04:01.669 they don't know what they want, they usually get a follow up question of 56 00:04:02.189 --> 00:04:06.949 well, what do you like or what inspires you, which to me is 57 00:04:08.069 --> 00:04:12.340 really asking the same things in just a slightly different way. So, after 58 00:04:12.340 --> 00:04:15.300 you except that you don't know and that that is okay, the next question 59 00:04:15.459 --> 00:04:20.339 you should follow up with is what am I doing about that? It's okay 60 00:04:20.420 --> 00:04:24.569 not to know what you want, but it is not okay not to be 61 00:04:24.649 --> 00:04:28.370 figuring it out. If you haven't found what you want out of life, 62 00:04:28.610 --> 00:04:31.810 then it should always be your goal to actively search for it. I tried 63 00:04:32.209 --> 00:04:36.250 so many things before I found out the drag was what I really love to 64 00:04:36.290 --> 00:04:41.480 do. I played piano, was a swimmer, I tried horseback riding, 65 00:04:41.839 --> 00:04:45.319 was on a rowing team, a speech and debate team, a chess club, 66 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:48.480 play tennis, played football, and most of those things I enjoyed and 67 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:51.839 definitely learn from, and some of them I was even really good at. 68 00:04:53.230 --> 00:04:57.910 But it turns out that none of them were my passion. However, if 69 00:04:57.949 --> 00:05:00.310 I had given up on finding what inspire me, then I would never know. 70 00:05:01.230 --> 00:05:06.420 So if you don't know, that's okay, but keep trying, keep 71 00:05:06.500 --> 00:05:11.980 growing, keep learning, keep discovering. It may be the next thing you 72 00:05:12.180 --> 00:05:16.420 try that really inspires you while you were learning and discovering new things in your 73 00:05:16.459 --> 00:05:21.089 life. This second lesson is really essential to finding what you love to do, 74 00:05:21.769 --> 00:05:27.410 and that is you must surrender yourself to all the great things the world 75 00:05:27.449 --> 00:05:31.529 has to offer. In this lifetime, anything is possible, and it's easy 76 00:05:31.569 --> 00:05:35.680 to have preconceived notions about what you should do a shouldn't be doing. These 77 00:05:35.879 --> 00:05:41.360 notions are not your friend when it comes to finding what you love. Instead, 78 00:05:41.879 --> 00:05:46.800 be open to in searching for any experiences you can have until you have 79 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.149 found what you're looking for. I say, if you aren't hurting yourself or 80 00:05:50.230 --> 00:05:56.990 others or being negative or destructive, go for it. You have nothing but 81 00:05:57.189 --> 00:06:00.430 things to gain when you try something new. I want to share a story 82 00:06:00.550 --> 00:06:04.139 with you all, and it's actually something I haven't shared with many people, 83 00:06:04.699 --> 00:06:10.180 but because I love my listeners and there's something to learn, I am willing 84 00:06:10.220 --> 00:06:14.860 to share it today. The first time I went to a drag show I 85 00:06:15.019 --> 00:06:18.209 hated it, or at least hate was what I thought I was feeling. 86 00:06:18.250 --> 00:06:24.329 It made me really uncomfortable because at that point in my life, it challenged 87 00:06:24.529 --> 00:06:29.250 everything I knew about being a man. I remember telling my best friend I 88 00:06:29.970 --> 00:06:33.759 just don't understand why anyone would do that, and his response was, Kevin, 89 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:39.639 I think you would probably be good at it. My friend saw something 90 00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:44.399 in me that I hadn't seen in myself yet. Clearly a lot has changed 91 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:47.629 since then, but I was young and new, way less about the world 92 00:06:47.829 --> 00:06:51.829 and about myself than I do now, and in hindsight I realize that I 93 00:06:53.029 --> 00:06:58.910 was probably just scared. There is a preconceived notion that finding your passion is 94 00:06:59.029 --> 00:07:01.860 going to be this one hundred percent happy figuring in your life and when you 95 00:07:02.019 --> 00:07:06.139 find it, the clouds part, the sun shines down and life looks and 96 00:07:06.220 --> 00:07:11.939 feels like a downey commercial. Okay, maybe that example was a little too 97 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:15.459 much, but you get the point. I can tell you from my experience. 98 00:07:15.730 --> 00:07:18.610 The first time I saw my passion staring right back at me scared me 99 00:07:19.050 --> 00:07:24.050 because I had never seen it before and I wasn't in touch with the parts 100 00:07:24.089 --> 00:07:28.569 of me that would eventually grow to love it. I can promise you that 101 00:07:28.689 --> 00:07:31.519 finding what you love will bring you happiness in this life, but the process 102 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:38.639 of finding it can sometimes be scary and uncomfortable. Trying new things and living 103 00:07:38.680 --> 00:07:42.959 your life outside of whatever box it is in is a challenge and not easy 104 00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:46.589 to do, but you have to be open to allowing that whatever it is 105 00:07:46.750 --> 00:07:51.430 will make you happy and fulfilled to come into your life. As American President 106 00:07:51.670 --> 00:07:56.990 Thomas Jefferson said, if you want something you never had, you must be 107 00:07:57.189 --> 00:08:01.620 willing to do something you have never done. Remember that vulnerability is a strength. 108 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:07.019 Be Open to anything, embrace each experience and learning opportunity you have in 109 00:08:07.060 --> 00:08:11.819 your life. This will keep you on the path not only to finding what 110 00:08:11.939 --> 00:08:15.889 you love, but also on the path to a happy and fulfilled life. 111 00:08:16.170 --> 00:08:20.930 When you have found your passion, it will awaken things in you that you 112 00:08:20.089 --> 00:08:26.129 have never felt before. You will be both excited and nervous in a way 113 00:08:26.170 --> 00:08:30.199 that is almost disorienting, and the only way you can seem to pull yourself 114 00:08:30.199 --> 00:08:33.840 back together is through pursuing what you love, and that is where my third 115 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:39.240 lesson comes in. Once you have found your passion, develop it. Remember, 116 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.789 at the beginning of this episode I was talking about the phrase follow your 117 00:08:43.789 --> 00:08:48.470 dreams. The phrase is inspiring, but what many don't take into consideration is 118 00:08:48.549 --> 00:08:54.389 that inspiration is just the first step. The good news is that once something 119 00:08:54.470 --> 00:08:58.620 inspires you, it feels easier to put in the work and develop and grow 120 00:08:58.779 --> 00:09:03.700 and whatever it is you love to do. Also, don't limit yourself to 121 00:09:03.820 --> 00:09:07.460 one thing to make you happy and fulfilled in life. Once you have found 122 00:09:07.500 --> 00:09:11.250 the first thing that truly inspires you, there are going to be lots of 123 00:09:11.330 --> 00:09:13.850 things you may find along the way. Being a drag Queen, let me 124 00:09:15.009 --> 00:09:20.409 into my love for designing and creating costumes, directing in hosting shows and now 125 00:09:20.730 --> 00:09:24.120 podcasting, all of which were talents I did not know I had until I 126 00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:28.639 started do in drag. What I did was take time and develop each of 127 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:33.159 those skills so when I need to use them, I know what I'm doing. 128 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:37.799 For you, this may be different. Let's say you really like playing 129 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:41.389 sports so much that you'd like to be a coach. Through coaching, you 130 00:09:41.509 --> 00:09:46.470 find that you really like motivating people. So, in addition to coaching, 131 00:09:46.909 --> 00:09:50.429 you also want to be a motivational speaker. This is an example of how 132 00:09:50.549 --> 00:09:56.299 your passions and inspirations can lead you to other amazing things in your life, 133 00:09:56.620 --> 00:10:00.860 and that is something to really look forward to. But if you are one 134 00:10:00.899 --> 00:10:03.379 of the people that don't know what they want yet, it really is all 135 00:10:03.419 --> 00:10:09.009 about finding that first thing that lights you up. So remember it's okay not 136 00:10:09.169 --> 00:10:13.049 to know. So render yourself to all the great things in this world and 137 00:10:13.809 --> 00:10:18.370 you will know you found what you're looking for if it awakens a part of 138 00:10:18.490 --> 00:10:22.799 you you didn't realize existed until next time. See you later, snack. 139 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:28.960 Hey Snack, I hope you enjoyed this episode of snack size. I also 140 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:33.840 want to let you know that this podcast is now an iheartradio download the iheartradio 141 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:37.669 APP and follow snack size the podcast so you don't miss out on any of 142 00:10:37.789 --> 00:10:45.350 my content exclusive to iheartradio. Also check out my new website, www dot 143 00:10:45.549 --> 00:10:50.659 snack size podcastcom, where you can listen to all your favorite episodes and more. 144 00:10:50.700 --> 00:10:52.580 Until next time, go be fabulous.