The 4 Steps To Becoming A Drag Queen

WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.800 --> 00:00:06.280 This episode of snack size is sponsored by twin cities gay scene, the online 2 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:12.189 magazine for glbt events, happenings and culture in the twin cities area. Head 3 00:00:12.230 --> 00:00:17.109 on over to twin cities gay scenecom to check out the biweekly magazine and be 4 00:00:17.269 --> 00:00:21.190 sure to sign up for the weekly scene shot email blast for chances to win 5 00:00:21.230 --> 00:00:26.980 fabulous prizes. Once again, that's twin cities gay scenecom. Be Fabulous and 6 00:00:27.179 --> 00:00:33.579 be seen. Hey, what's up world? Welcome to snack size, the 7 00:00:33.700 --> 00:00:38.450 podcast that will drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, 8 00:00:38.490 --> 00:00:42.049 La La Lushous, also known as the snack of the twin cities. I 9 00:00:42.210 --> 00:00:45.329 decided for myself that I can be whatever I want to be. So I 10 00:00:45.450 --> 00:00:49.329 decided to be a drag queen, and if I can live my dreams, 11 00:00:49.450 --> 00:00:53.320 you can to. The time has come to believing yourself enough to turn your 12 00:00:53.439 --> 00:00:56.920 ideas into more than mere words, and, no matter what you are doing 13 00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:59.719 in life or where you want to go, I want to help you get 14 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:10.709 there fabulously. Our ten minutes starts now. Hey, snacks, welcome to 15 00:01:10.829 --> 00:01:15.590 episode two of snack size. Today we are going to the movies. Well, 16 00:01:15.950 --> 00:01:18.900 I should say we are going to talk about one of my favorite movies, 17 00:01:19.260 --> 00:01:23.219 which chances are you've probably never seen, but maybe you have. It's 18 00:01:23.260 --> 00:01:26.379 one of those movies that, accidentally, isn't just a snack, it's a 19 00:01:26.459 --> 00:01:30.579 whole lunch buffet of good laughs and one liners to live by. But we 20 00:01:30.739 --> 00:01:33.650 only have ten minutes, so I'm just going to give you the snack size 21 00:01:33.689 --> 00:01:37.890 version. The movie is titled To Wong Foo. Thanks for everything, Julie 22 00:01:37.969 --> 00:01:41.689 Newmar released in one thousand nine hundred and ninety five, starting Wesley Snipes, 23 00:01:41.969 --> 00:01:47.280 Patrick swayze and John lquisamo as three New York City drag Queens who embark on 24 00:01:47.319 --> 00:01:51.760 a road trip, spreading love and Glamor and ultimately changing the hearts and minds 25 00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:55.439 of the people they meet along the way. In the movie, the characters 26 00:01:55.519 --> 00:02:00.040 played by Wesley Snipes and Patrick swayze meet John Luquisamo at a drag beauty pageant 27 00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:05.950 and take him under their wing and reveal that there are four steps to becoming 28 00:02:05.989 --> 00:02:08.669 a drag queen, and that is what today's episode is about. Now, 29 00:02:08.870 --> 00:02:13.229 if you haven't seen the movie, you may think I'm going to discuss how 30 00:02:13.270 --> 00:02:16.259 to get in full glamorous, de delicious drag and while that would be fun, 31 00:02:16.500 --> 00:02:20.699 that is not what these steps are. They can apply it to any 32 00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:23.259 person and will work with whatever your goals are. So, even if you 33 00:02:23.300 --> 00:02:27.740 don't want to be a queen, just learn from one, like you're doing 34 00:02:27.819 --> 00:02:30.409 right now. I'm going to talk about all four steps and some ways you 35 00:02:30.449 --> 00:02:34.849 can go about applying them to your life. Let's get started with the four 36 00:02:34.969 --> 00:02:42.689 steps to becoming a drag queen. Step one, may good thoughts be your 37 00:02:42.810 --> 00:02:46.759 sword and shield. Good thoughts are essential to living a happy life, and 38 00:02:47.159 --> 00:02:52.360 maybe you already have days where you're very positive and optimistic about your life. 39 00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:57.199 That is great, and it's important to keep that going whenever you can for 40 00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:00.669 as long as you can. However, it is unrealistic for you to never 41 00:03:00.789 --> 00:03:06.310 have a negative thought or bad day again, so let's talk about those days 42 00:03:06.389 --> 00:03:09.909 that maybe aren't so fabulous. The key to mastering this first step is to 43 00:03:09.990 --> 00:03:14.740 keep the good thoughts at the front of your endeavors. This is something I 44 00:03:14.900 --> 00:03:17.580 have struggled with in life. I can tell you from my own experience that 45 00:03:17.699 --> 00:03:22.860 seeing the good in every situation isn't easy. It's a choice you have to 46 00:03:22.900 --> 00:03:25.819 make every day, but it is worth it. There are two ways I 47 00:03:25.939 --> 00:03:30.330 have applied this step in my life. First, I accept my emotions. 48 00:03:30.849 --> 00:03:35.930 What that means is, no matter what I'm feeling, I accept it for 49 00:03:36.050 --> 00:03:38.849 what it is. If I'm mad, that I accept that I'm mad. 50 00:03:39.490 --> 00:03:44.159 If I feel like crying, I do it. If I'm happy, then 51 00:03:44.199 --> 00:03:49.080 I enjoy the moment. I simply acknowledge and accept my thoughts and feelings as 52 00:03:49.159 --> 00:03:53.759 they are. Accepting your feelings, instead of hiding them or thinking you should 53 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:58.750 feel differently, will give you clarity about any situation. This is because you 54 00:03:58.830 --> 00:04:01.789 are being honest with yourself and you can make decisions for your life honestly, 55 00:04:01.949 --> 00:04:06.389 considering how you feel. Once you have accepted your emotions, the next step 56 00:04:06.710 --> 00:04:11.860 is to, as Tim Gunn says on the TV show project runway, make 57 00:04:11.939 --> 00:04:15.939 it work. Let's say you're having a bad day. That's okay, but 58 00:04:15.139 --> 00:04:18.339 it doesn't mean the whole day has to be bad. Maybe you can commit 59 00:04:18.420 --> 00:04:21.899 to checking the few things off your to do list or do something special for 60 00:04:23.060 --> 00:04:27.009 someone you love. Take time to go on a walk or listen to your 61 00:04:27.050 --> 00:04:30.370 favorite music. The point here is to make the situation the best it can 62 00:04:30.410 --> 00:04:34.089 be. Maybe you will still have a bad day, but if you can 63 00:04:34.129 --> 00:04:38.959 make the situation any better than what it is, you should always do it. 64 00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:42.839 The same goes if you're facing a challenge or in a difficult situation. 65 00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:48.680 Never go into anything saying this can't happen or this won't work. Before you 66 00:04:48.759 --> 00:04:54.230 jump to that conclusion, ask yourself, how can I make this work? 67 00:04:55.029 --> 00:04:59.310 Accepting how you feel and making it work will provide you with the sword and 68 00:04:59.589 --> 00:05:10.620 Shieeld for any situation. Step to ignore adversity. Everyone in life faces some 69 00:05:11.060 --> 00:05:15.019 type of adversity, and when we are talking about ignoring adversity, it doesn't 70 00:05:15.019 --> 00:05:19.220 mean close your eyes and pretend it isn't there. This step is talking about 71 00:05:19.220 --> 00:05:24.930 having resilience in the face of adversity. I've found when it comes to life 72 00:05:24.970 --> 00:05:28.970 and following your dreams, your biggest strength is not in what you can do, 73 00:05:29.689 --> 00:05:33.290 but rather what you can overcome. If you commit to having the will 74 00:05:33.410 --> 00:05:39.720 power and mental stamina to overcome challenges, then you surely will be successful at 75 00:05:39.800 --> 00:05:44.399 whatever you want. When I started doing drag it was a very different world 76 00:05:44.439 --> 00:05:47.439 than we live in now, and people were not as accepting of my choice 77 00:05:47.480 --> 00:05:51.029 to be a man and dress as a woman. Part of ignoring adversity is 78 00:05:51.110 --> 00:05:57.829 understanding that not everyone will understand you or your dreams and goals. You may 79 00:05:57.949 --> 00:06:01.029 not fit in or get along with everyone. What is most important is that 80 00:06:01.269 --> 00:06:08.019 you understand what you want and believe in yourself enough not to feel a need 81 00:06:08.139 --> 00:06:12.019 to change who you are for others. After all, it's easy to take 82 00:06:12.060 --> 00:06:15.259 the beaten path, but the greatest people in history in some way, at 83 00:06:15.339 --> 00:06:18.970 some point in their lives, when against the grain and took the road that's 84 00:06:19.050 --> 00:06:25.290 traveled. That is what made them so great. So again, not everyone 85 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:29.930 will understand you, but it doesn't mean everyone won't understand you. You may 86 00:06:29.970 --> 00:06:33.000 be sitting on the next great idea right now and the world just has to 87 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:39.240 catch up with you. This is exactly how the world changes. Be Bold 88 00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:46.040 enough to live life on your terms and never ever apologize for it. Step 89 00:06:46.230 --> 00:06:53.509 three abide by the rules of love. This step is open ended, and 90 00:06:53.870 --> 00:06:56.949 that's a great thing for what we're trying to do here. I say this 91 00:06:57.029 --> 00:07:00.910 step is open ended because there isn't just one way love can come into your 92 00:07:00.990 --> 00:07:03.860 life. You can have loved from people, whether that be your partner or 93 00:07:03.939 --> 00:07:08.579 family and friends. You can have loved for what you do for work or 94 00:07:08.620 --> 00:07:12.339 a hobby you love. You can also have the love that comes to spirituality, 95 00:07:12.699 --> 00:07:15.540 whatever it is that you believe in. The love I want to talk 96 00:07:15.579 --> 00:07:19.089 about on this episode is what I've found to be an important but often forgot 97 00:07:19.129 --> 00:07:23.970 about type of love, and that is self love. The best way I've 98 00:07:23.970 --> 00:07:29.329 heard the importance of self love described as a wellknown quote by American singer Earth 99 00:07:29.410 --> 00:07:33.399 a kid. In talking about relationships, she said it's all about falling in 100 00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:39.120 love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than 101 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:44.079 looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit. It's important to know 102 00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:47.269 that whatever it is you're looking for out of life, it cannot and will 103 00:07:47.389 --> 00:07:53.550 never replace the need to care for, value and love yourself. Some ways 104 00:07:53.589 --> 00:07:58.029 that I have found to practice self love are as follows. One, become 105 00:07:58.110 --> 00:08:01.980 mindful of your wants and needs. You should always take care of your needs 106 00:08:01.019 --> 00:08:07.300 and always be working towards what you want to is I set boundaries. You'll 107 00:08:07.379 --> 00:08:11.339 love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, people or 108 00:08:11.379 --> 00:08:16.129 activities that deplete you or harm you physically, emotionally or spiritually. You should 109 00:08:16.170 --> 00:08:20.449 absolutely be mindful of others and their feelings, especially the people that lift you 110 00:08:20.529 --> 00:08:24.769 up in life. And if you love what you do, you should work 111 00:08:24.850 --> 00:08:28.319 hard at it every day, but it should never come at the cost of 112 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:33.440 you feeling unhappy or empty with your life. And lastly, forgive yourself. 113 00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:37.480 We as humans, can be so harder in ourselves. You have to accept 114 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:43.230 your humanness before you can true will be love yourself. Practice being less hard 115 00:08:43.309 --> 00:08:46.269 on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember there are no failures if you 116 00:08:46.389 --> 00:08:54.029 have learned and grown from your mistakes. There are only lessons learned. Step 117 00:08:54.190 --> 00:09:01.299 for larger than life is just the right size. This step is best complimented 118 00:09:01.340 --> 00:09:05.539 by another line from the movie, when Wesley Snipe says if you want them 119 00:09:05.580 --> 00:09:09.009 to know there is stick for dinner, you got to let them hear at 120 00:09:09.049 --> 00:09:15.289 sizzle. Understanding this step is simple. Life is a gift we only get 121 00:09:15.370 --> 00:09:18.889 for a short time, so do it big while you can. Now is 122 00:09:20.009 --> 00:09:24.090 the time to start living. You're happy, fulfilled, most fabulous life, 123 00:09:24.519 --> 00:09:28.559 and if someone says you're too much, ask them are you even enough? 124 00:09:30.440 --> 00:09:35.080 And just like that, now you are queen. To see you next time. 125 00:09:35.559 --> 00:09:39.870 Hey Snack, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Remember you can get 126 00:09:39.909 --> 00:09:45.509 every episode of snack size on apple podcast, Google podcast and spotify. Let's 127 00:09:45.549 --> 00:09:48.309 keep the conversation going. If you have questions or feedback, don't be afraid 128 00:09:48.309 --> 00:09:54.860 to say hello at Lala at snack size podcastcom and if you want to support 129 00:09:54.899 --> 00:09:58.500 my podcast, head on over to paypal dot me for its last snack size 130 00:09:58.580 --> 00:10:01.620 podcast. Until next time, go be fabulous.